First off- thank you so much to those of you who have encouraged me in text, with scripture, and through prayer. Thank you to those of you who have taken the time to call, email and FB message me in the past week. It has meant so much to me that you have taken the time to support me in this crazy beginning of my teaching "life"... because it's more than a job... it's more than a career... it may just be a season... but it is certainly becoming my life. I go to sleep, wake up, eat, play, shop, read, shower, clean, all with my kids on my mind.
I went to school exhausted this morning, weak and tired. I called out to some dear people in my "net" (a term I am taking/borrowing/having for myself, but giving complete credit to Kelle Hampton - kellehampton.com) at 7am and was quickly overwhelmed with love and support. I was encouraged by truth... to not fear because I'm not alone... reminded that I would be helped and I would be upheld... that the God of hope would fill me with joy and peace... prayers that I would abound in hope... humbly captivated that He does increase the power of the weak and on Him is where I'm to lean.
And we... our little family who lives daily life in room 201... had an
awesome day today. Mind you, 2 of our friends were absent, but still... I
was so proud. I tried new things and stopped (after 7 days, or less) "old"
things and hoped for the best. I moved desks and rearranged a lot in our
room yesterday after school hoping to better create the "perfect" space
for them... and me.
Today
1 - the number of times I called the office
2 - the number of criers, one out of anger and the other out of sadness
3 - the number of kids who had to take breaks away from the large group
4 - the number of kids I kept in from recess
And yet, despite this ironic number thing I discovered as I reflected about my day - this day was good. I feel like we had a turning point in our class. We talked about how I'm like the mama and they're my kids... how we are to speak and act kindly... how we're to care for another... and with all of that we're just going to connect with one another. We respect and we honor and we show love. I didn't exactly use all of these terms, but this is where my heart was at in speaking what I spoke to and over them.
I stopped 2 separate almost fights, holding tight and whispering into the ear of one of my little men to be the better person and to make the right choice... calming him and encouraging him to unclench his fists. I refocused him to be a helper and he did a total 180 in his behavior... at least for the next 10 minutes anyway ;) And 10 minutes... if that is all I get, I.will.take.it.
I was careful to declare this day the best day ever at lunch... out of fear that the afternoon would pull me in and I would drown. I was careful to declare this day the best day ever at 2 in the afternoon when I dropped my kids off at Art... out of fear that our last 30 minutes before dismissal would be miserable despite our so-far-amazing day. At the end of the day, I determined it safe to in fact declare this day to be the best day ever (so far!). And yea, we still have a lot of work to do... but my hope has been renewed. I am making connections with these fast-beating tender hearts, some of which are in a lot of strife... slowly but surely.
Hug me. Love me. Listen to me. Don't yell at me. Make me smile. Make me laugh. Teach me. Help me. Show me how. Be patient with me. Don't leave me. Stay close to me. Be my family.
Their hearts are crying out... I hear it in their actions, tones, and whines.
(tutor comes in to assist me today)
(boy goes to pout in corner)
Me: What's wrong? Come to your seat... I'm going to help you.
Him: Are you going to leave now?
Me: No, why?
Him: She came in.
Me: I'm not leaving, she just came to help us.
Him: (smiles) Okay.
(walks with me to his seat and starts to work.
Today was just good. I know they need me... and I need them. Just like I need you. Because the Lord wants to grow me... and yes, this pruning process is so difficult. With a humble spirit and an attitude of wanting to simply love well, no matter how exhausted I might feel, I will walk through the doors of room 201 every day, ready... to give my everything... and to make a difference. And when I walk in the hallways, I may just hum, because I did that this afternoon as I soaked in the joy of the Lord that was my strength. How faithful and good of a God we serve.
Once again, thank you. If you're reading this, you have probably made a difference somehow or someway in my life and I am so grateful... your prayers and thoughts really do make a difference in my life so thank you.
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